[ pregnant. the word knocks the wind out of him for a moment, leaves him reeling in disbelief. pregnant? dan feng is vidyadhara, and vidyadhara are famously impossible to breed—it's a well-known fact of the kingdom, and blade himself has heard dan feng complain more than once about his studies into the subject being stymied by incomplete historical records or poorly-composed medical tracts. to think that dan feng, who seems to have dedicated much of his adult life to studying the circumstances that might allow vidyadhara to carry on their lines—
a second, even more shocking realization hits him only a moment later. although he and dan feng have been carrying on their affair for nearly a year now, blade is still nothing more than a royal guard, and dan feng the precious crown prince of the kingdom; for what reason would dan feng tell him this unless blade needed to know? ]
Aeons, [ blade breathes out, his fingers curling at dan feng's elbow. ] Highness, I...
[ no amount of training in court manners could ever have prepared blade for this moment. he brings his other hand up to dan feng's other arm, now to hold himself steady as much as he's holding dan feng steady, and he exhales a sharp breath. ]
Should I congratulate you or apologize? [ he asks, his gaze meeting dan feng's lovely cerulean and then dropping to his stomach. any rounding there can't be seen under the heavy fabric of his clothes, but the thought that it might be there... that blade's child might be there, growing within dan feng's womb...
...for that matter, blade wasn't even sure he knew dan feng had a womb. or perhaps it didn't matter, since neither of them evidently expected that their lovemaking would come to this. ]
[ blade's reaction is, thankfully, more or less what he expected. he knows the man well enough by now to be able to guess at what he might be thinking, but then, no one could entirely predict how someone might take news such as this. even dan feng, famously cold and solemn, found himself entirely floored. ]
Neither. Both. I.. I don't entirely know. Here, sit.
[ they're in his bedroom now, and dan feng leads blade toward the bench at the foot of his bed, where they both can sit, and absorb the reality of their situation. even once they are seated, dan feng still holds to him, keeping one of blade's hands between his own, feeling its heat. ]
Though I will make one thing clear - I have no regrets, not about the child, nor its father. [ a beat. ] You, in case you dare to wonder otherwise. I have no other lovers.
[ his only regret is that they are not wed, that he may not be able to protect blade, should push come to shove, though of course he will certainly try - he will be punished over dan feng's dead body, should it come to it. this may not have been the way he had hoped to restore his people's reproduction, but he will not look down his nose upon a miracle, most especially after all the work he has put toward this very thing. ]
[ blade allows himself to be guided down onto the bench at the foot of dan feng's bed—in itself a shocking revelation, dan feng's bed, although blade can hardly spare a thought for it right now. his entire focus is on the man next to him, his prince—his pregnant prince, aeons, blade is dizzy with it.
and even dizzier at the thought of being called a father. having grown up with no parents of his own, blade has no idea what a father ought to be, ought to do—childrearing, discipline, will he have to learn how to feed a baby? to hold one or to swaddle it? is he going to have to figure out how to change diapers?
—no. no, of course not. in what world could blade ever be recognized as the child's father, when its other parent is the fucking crown prince? ]
I didn't wonder, but... I'm pleased to know you have no regrets, [ blade says. his hand is folded between dan feng's, and here he lifts his other one to cup dan feng's hand between his own as well, holding him as blade lifts his gaze to meet dan feng's eyes again. ] Your highness, forgive me for speaking out of turn—please, for your sake, and for your... for our child's sake, you must never name me as the father. The preceptors would never accept it.
[ despite the fear that fills him at the notion, blade wants nothing more than to be the father of dan feng's child, to cherish him and protect him and help him raise this miraculous child, should it come healthy into the world—but even before the desire has a chance to set in, blade already knows it's impossible. the first vidyadhara child born in millennia could never be sired by a mere royal guard, and a short-life species at that. as snobbish and rigid as the preceptors can be, blade worries that they would rather dan feng bear no child at all than one whose blood is so tainted. ]
[ dan feng's expression remains mostly steely, but a crease in his brow betrays his unease, his uncertainty. he knows why blade asks what he asks, not to wriggle out of the responsibilities of fatherhood, but instead to protect him. to protect the child. their child. even still, it pains dan feng deeply to know that it must be so, to understand and metabolize the fact that they cannot be a family, they cannot have the things that they so desperately want. rebellious a creature as dan feng is, he wants to balk at the idea, to insist that he can protect them both, protect them all, that he can handle the preceptors and anyone else that may threaten them.
but the ugly truth is that he cannot guarantee that, and were dan feng only risking himself he would refuse, he would toss his head like a haughty mare and deny that the preceptors could control him, that he needs their acceptance at all.. but with blade and their child tangled up in all of this now, he must reluctantly assent. he cannot risk them.
exhaling a long, slow sigh, dan feng closes his eyes, his brow drawing tight, before he nods. ]
.. as you say. It will remain between us.
[ it all but physically pains him to say as much, for how brutally, wholly unfair it is, but it is the safest path forward for all of them. should it come out that blade is the father beyond all reasonable doubt, he cannot begin to imagine the possible repercussions. the preceptors may be willing to turn a blind (if disgusted) eye toward dan feng's dalliances, but this? surely they would act. tipping his head forward, he touches their brows together. this should be a momentous occasion, a reason to celebrate, yet the cold spike of fear running through it all brings everything down. ]
I wish to keep you close, nonetheless. It should not be difficult to arrange, once this pregnancy is revealed. I will require the extra protection.
[ far from wanting to escape the responsibilities of fatherhood—blade wishes desperately that he could fulfill them. but he knows as well as dan feng does that to acknowledge him as the child's father would be to doom them both, or at the very least to ensure blade spends the rest of his life in prison while the child may or may not be allowed to live. the preceptors can be brutally pragmatic when it suits them, and blade has no doubt that they would take every opportunity to exert their control over dan feng if they knew who had sired the baby growing inside him.
so although it breaks his heart to hear dan feng agree, blade tells himself it's for the best. he cups dan feng's hand between both of his, then—on an impertinent, blasphemous whim—leans over to press his lips softly to dan feng's forehead, right over that furrow of worry that's grown between his brows. ]
It would be an honor and a privilege to stay close to you as your personal guard, [ blade says. although his speech is formal, as it must be when addressing the prince, the smile in his voice is almost audible. it may not be true fatherhood, but he's glad for the opportunity to remain close to dan feng and help him through his pregnancy in whatever way blade might be allowed. ] Please entrust your every craving to me, your highness.
[ after a pause, followed by a couple of false starts, blade finally clears his throat and adds, ]
Are you... showing, yet?
[ local man has never been a dad before, he doesn't know how long it takes before it starts to become obvious when someone is pregnant... ]
[ that blade agrees has a knot unfurling in his stomach, and dan feng exhales softly. he'd thought perhaps that the man would want to withdraw, that he would want to keep his distance out of an excess of safety concerns, but he does not understand how much dan feng needs him here, needs his presence, his support. for now, he is the only one who knows about the pregnancy at all, and as the father.. not only does he have the right to watch his child grow, he also is the only one deserving of its closeness.
this baby will cause an absolute riot, once its presence is revealed - no vidyadhara has given birth in countless amber eras, and he has no doubt that the preceptors and the alchemy commission will be incredibly interested in how it came to be. dan feng will be harangued, watched, studied; he's exhausted already just thinking about it.
but then blade asks a question that makes him smile, in his quiet sort of way. ]
.. just a little.
[ it's definitely not obvious to anyone but dan feng, to anyone who might see him unclothed, and he's thankful now that he has always refused dressing attendants, save for when he must wear particularly extravagant clothing. he prefers to dress himself, when he can.
undoing the silk tie at his waist, dan feng allows the silks to part just enough to allow a hand inside. then, taking blade's wrists, he delicately plucks his gloves away, then guides both of his hands beneath the fabric, allowing him to feel the gentle swell of his abdomen. ]
[ by now blade has seen dan feng unclothed countless times, but each time for the purpose of sex—it strikes him now, as dan feng unfastens the tie of his silks and lets them fall to the sides, that this may be the first time he's caught a glimpse of dan feng's body without the intent to fuck him. it's only a glimpse, of course, dan feng's collarbones exposed by the widened drape of his garments, but it's more than enough for blade's traitorous brain to supply him with the thought, aeons, he's lovely.
but then his hands are being guided inside dan feng's silks to press against his lower belly, and— ]
Oh, [ blade says softly, pressing his palms softly to the curve he can feel there. it isn't terribly noticeable, or wouldn't be, except that blade is intimately familiar with dan feng's naked body and the usually-flat planes of his abdomen, so to him the small bump feels obvious as anything. ] Oh...
[ their child, growing inside. the thought is nearly overwhelming. blade's thumbs brush softly across cool skin, and his gaze lifts from dan feng's stomach up to meet his eyes again. blade's expression is both shocked and moved, delighted by this small sign of burgeoning life inside his—
his what? his lover? no. his prince, that's all. ]
May I speak out of turn, your highness? [ blade asks, and then without waiting for a response says, ] I think pregnancy will be beautiful on you.
[ it's an emotional moment, when blade's palm smooths over the slight bump in his lower abdomen, his skin so wonderfully warm. blade has touched him plenty of times, countless by now, but each time it was in passion or pleasure, it was never this, and the sensation threatens to overwhelm. dan feng has never known such fondness for another person before. everyone that he has ever known has sought to use him or control him, and at first he assumed that blade would simply be the former - that they would both use one another for pleasure and distraction, but their tryst has grown into so much more.
he can't find the words for it. doesn't understand the nature of the feeling that tightens in his chest, for he has never really felt love before. all he knows is that he wants to keep blade near, needs to keep him near, needs this little family to remain safe and secure at any cost. he does not know if blade feels the same way, but given the look that crosses his face dan feng can guess that he is feeling a similar protective urge toward their child, and perhaps.. perhaps some sort of happiness and awe.
dan feng's mouth curves into a soft, muted smile, easy and warm, and he chuckles under his breath, his hand moving over blade's on his belly, holding it close. ]
Well, I will allow you to speak out of turn when it flatters me so nicely.
[ he teases, idly threading his fingers through blade's rough ones, squeezing lightly. ]
Long ago, the personal guard of the crown lived in the room beside mine. It is connected by a secret passage behind the tapestry behind you. I would like for you to stay there, if you are willing.
[ both "happiness" and "awe" seem like pale words to describe the way blade feels when he thinks about dan feng and their child growing in his womb. it's a feeling unlike anything he's ever experienced before, an emotion so strong it's almost like a physical sensation, one that sends a shiver down his spine as dan feng folds his fingers in between blade's to hold his hand in place.
blade wants to kiss him so badly it makes him ache. he resists only barely, and even then he still has to press his mouth to dan feng's shoulder over the silk of his robes, to give his lips something else to do. ]
I am willing, [ he says immediately. it requires no thought at all. if there's a room for blade there, one that would allow him to be close to dan feng, to be at his side should he need anything at all, then blade would never in a million amber eras choose to be anywhere else. ] I will be ready, as soon as the arrangements are made.
[ all the while, his hand stays where it is, cupped softly against dan feng's belly. more than likely, blade won't move it until dan feng tells him he has to. ]
Please call on me for anything you need, your highness, [ blade adds after a second, lifting his head so he can study dan feng's beautiful face. ] I may not be able to claim this child publicly, but... in privacy, it would honor me if you would let me support you as the father of your child should.
[ dan feng, for all of his long years, has never been in love before. he is not an easy man to get to know, not an easy man to grow close to, and truth be told, he has never really had anyone that he could call a friend. mentors, advisors, pearlkeepers.. he has known all of these, has never wanted for company, but true friendship - now, that was something out of his grasp, and for a long, long time, he simply assumed that it was unnecessary for him.
why would he need close companions? he is strong and clever enough on his own. his preceptors are company enough, and they annoy him far more than they delight him - dan feng has more important things on his mind than companionship. but now that he has experienced something like it..
.. well, he would not necessarily call blade a friend. a lover, yes, and now a confidant, but that is all they are, isn't it? this feeling in his chest hints at more, the warm tightness that he feels when their eyes meet goes beyond physical wanting, but dan feng is not emotionally capable enough to understand it for what it is. he does not know what love feels like, he only knows that when blade presses his face into his shoulder it makes his heart flip, warmth burgeoning in his breast like a lotus unfurling its petals.
he wants to kiss him, too. ]
Good. There should be no complaints, especially not when this pregnancy comes to light. I will need the extra protection.
[ their eyes meet again, and dan feng follows his instinct, leaning in to touch their brows together, to nudge his nose alongside blade's in quiet affection, both of their hands still pressed lightly over his abdomen. ]
I do not know what to expect. It has been countless amber eras since my kind reproduced naturally, it's entirely possible that it may not work out. Only time will tell.
I know, [ blade says quietly. reproduction among short-life species is the same, risky at the beginning and not always proceeding as expected; he can only imagine that the same would be true in a species that hasn't reproduced this way in thousands of years. ] I will... moderate my expectations until the largest risks have passed.
[ but something in his heart of hearts still feels determined to believe that this pregnancy will proceed as it should, safe and healthy and strong. dan feng is an incredibly capable healer, after all, and blade himself is in excellent health—with the two of them as parents, shouldn't their child stand the greatest chance of being carried to term and being born without issue?
(granted, this is just blade's blind faith in dan feng; there's certainly science to it that he doesn't understand.)
unable to resist the temptation, blade leans forward just enough to close the gap between their mouths, pressing a brief but warm kiss to dan feng's lips. for a moment, he allows himself to be caught up in the moment, relishing the familiar sensation of dan feng's mouth against his, the taste of him on blade's lips—
there's a clatter of something just outside dan feng's door, maybe a tray being dropped, and blade comes sharply back to himself. he withdraws both his kiss and his hand from within dan feng's silks, although his gaze is still warm with affection when he looks over from a respectable distance away. ]
I should go before we're discovered, [ he says. ] Call for me soon, your highness. I'll be waiting.
[ dan feng dips his head in a nod. he, too, will moderate his expectations, but even still, he can't help but hope that it will take. that it will work. not only because it would all but solve the vidyadhara's population problem, but also.. also because he wants this, personally. a child of his own, with someone he cares deeply for - what more could he ask for?
it's foolish, he knows - foolish to hope that it will succeed. what will become of blade if he is found out? what would become of their child?
well, dan feng is nothing if not confident in his ability. he may be restrained by government and politics, but in the end, there are none who can match him in power, and they will learn that the heard way, should they even attempt to take his child or his lover from him. he has known about this pregnancy for only a week now, but he knows that he would tear down the world for their child without hesitation.
blade leans in, and dan feng meets him halfway, leaning into the kiss with a soft, quiet hum, his hands lifting to cup blade's jaw, and he's ready to push for more when he hears the noise beyond his door, and blade pulls back from him. ]
I will. I won't keep you waiting.
[ not this time. and, in fact, it isn't long at all before dan feng calls for his bodyguard again. it takes less than a week for the room beside his own to be prepared, and while his preceptors and advisors question the need for excess safety, in the end they have no real reason to attempt to deny him. so it is that five days later blade is summoned not to dan feng's quarters, but to his own, new ones, where his prince waits for him beside the door. ]
[ it makes perfect sense that in the intervening days, blade would hear little from dan feng. other than his assigned duties as a member of the cloud knights, blade has no reason to be appraised of the crown prince's personal affairs, and so he spends the next handful of days completely in the dark—running drills, taking patrols, performing his duties to the letter. even so, blade suspects that the revelation of dan feng's pregnancy would be enough to throw the whole castle into a tizzy, and he's sort of expecting that upset to be the trigger for his assignment to the guard room behind the crown prince's chambers—
but when the orders come, it doesn't seem that anyone is yet aware of the true reason for the change. blade packs his things as commanded and keeps his mouth shut, but once he's made his way up to the new space and been given his new orders, the first thing blade does after the commander has left is to enter the room and find dan feng waiting for him. ]
Your Highness, [ he says as he drops his rucksack atop a low bench near the front door. blade bows, as propriety dictates he must, and then straightens so he can cross the room to stop a few steps in front of dan feng. ] It seems I've been reassigned as your personal guard for the time being.
[ it's not blade's place to ask what dan feng's plans are as far as revealing his pregnancy. he'll find out when he needs to find out. for now, he's just reveling in the novelty of being so close to dan feng—to being allowed to be so close to dan feng, without having to sneak away in the wee hours of the morning to make it back to the barracks before training begins.
it's also not blade's place to be the one to reach for dan feng first, so he keeps his hands firmly at his sides as he says, ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
a second, even more shocking realization hits him only a moment later. although he and dan feng have been carrying on their affair for nearly a year now, blade is still nothing more than a royal guard, and dan feng the precious crown prince of the kingdom; for what reason would dan feng tell him this unless blade needed to know? ]
Aeons, [ blade breathes out, his fingers curling at dan feng's elbow. ] Highness, I...
[ no amount of training in court manners could ever have prepared blade for this moment. he brings his other hand up to dan feng's other arm, now to hold himself steady as much as he's holding dan feng steady, and he exhales a sharp breath. ]
Should I congratulate you or apologize? [ he asks, his gaze meeting dan feng's lovely cerulean and then dropping to his stomach. any rounding there can't be seen under the heavy fabric of his clothes, but the thought that it might be there... that blade's child might be there, growing within dan feng's womb...
...for that matter, blade wasn't even sure he knew dan feng had a womb. or perhaps it didn't matter, since neither of them evidently expected that their lovemaking would come to this. ]
no subject
Neither. Both. I.. I don't entirely know. Here, sit.
[ they're in his bedroom now, and dan feng leads blade toward the bench at the foot of his bed, where they both can sit, and absorb the reality of their situation. even once they are seated, dan feng still holds to him, keeping one of blade's hands between his own, feeling its heat. ]
Though I will make one thing clear - I have no regrets, not about the child, nor its father. [ a beat. ] You, in case you dare to wonder otherwise. I have no other lovers.
[ his only regret is that they are not wed, that he may not be able to protect blade, should push come to shove, though of course he will certainly try - he will be punished over dan feng's dead body, should it come to it. this may not have been the way he had hoped to restore his people's reproduction, but he will not look down his nose upon a miracle, most especially after all the work he has put toward this very thing. ]
no subject
and even dizzier at the thought of being called a father. having grown up with no parents of his own, blade has no idea what a father ought to be, ought to do—childrearing, discipline, will he have to learn how to feed a baby? to hold one or to swaddle it? is he going to have to figure out how to change diapers?
—no. no, of course not. in what world could blade ever be recognized as the child's father, when its other parent is the fucking crown prince? ]
I didn't wonder, but... I'm pleased to know you have no regrets, [ blade says. his hand is folded between dan feng's, and here he lifts his other one to cup dan feng's hand between his own as well, holding him as blade lifts his gaze to meet dan feng's eyes again. ] Your highness, forgive me for speaking out of turn—please, for your sake, and for your... for our child's sake, you must never name me as the father. The preceptors would never accept it.
[ despite the fear that fills him at the notion, blade wants nothing more than to be the father of dan feng's child, to cherish him and protect him and help him raise this miraculous child, should it come healthy into the world—but even before the desire has a chance to set in, blade already knows it's impossible. the first vidyadhara child born in millennia could never be sired by a mere royal guard, and a short-life species at that. as snobbish and rigid as the preceptors can be, blade worries that they would rather dan feng bear no child at all than one whose blood is so tainted. ]
no subject
but the ugly truth is that he cannot guarantee that, and were dan feng only risking himself he would refuse, he would toss his head like a haughty mare and deny that the preceptors could control him, that he needs their acceptance at all.. but with blade and their child tangled up in all of this now, he must reluctantly assent. he cannot risk them.
exhaling a long, slow sigh, dan feng closes his eyes, his brow drawing tight, before he nods. ]
.. as you say. It will remain between us.
[ it all but physically pains him to say as much, for how brutally, wholly unfair it is, but it is the safest path forward for all of them. should it come out that blade is the father beyond all reasonable doubt, he cannot begin to imagine the possible repercussions. the preceptors may be willing to turn a blind (if disgusted) eye toward dan feng's dalliances, but this? surely they would act. tipping his head forward, he touches their brows together. this should be a momentous occasion, a reason to celebrate, yet the cold spike of fear running through it all brings everything down. ]
I wish to keep you close, nonetheless. It should not be difficult to arrange, once this pregnancy is revealed. I will require the extra protection.
no subject
so although it breaks his heart to hear dan feng agree, blade tells himself it's for the best. he cups dan feng's hand between both of his, then—on an impertinent, blasphemous whim—leans over to press his lips softly to dan feng's forehead, right over that furrow of worry that's grown between his brows. ]
It would be an honor and a privilege to stay close to you as your personal guard, [ blade says. although his speech is formal, as it must be when addressing the prince, the smile in his voice is almost audible. it may not be true fatherhood, but he's glad for the opportunity to remain close to dan feng and help him through his pregnancy in whatever way blade might be allowed. ] Please entrust your every craving to me, your highness.
[ after a pause, followed by a couple of false starts, blade finally clears his throat and adds, ]
Are you... showing, yet?
[ local man has never been a dad before, he doesn't know how long it takes before it starts to become obvious when someone is pregnant... ]
no subject
this baby will cause an absolute riot, once its presence is revealed - no vidyadhara has given birth in countless amber eras, and he has no doubt that the preceptors and the alchemy commission will be incredibly interested in how it came to be. dan feng will be harangued, watched, studied; he's exhausted already just thinking about it.
but then blade asks a question that makes him smile, in his quiet sort of way. ]
.. just a little.
[ it's definitely not obvious to anyone but dan feng, to anyone who might see him unclothed, and he's thankful now that he has always refused dressing attendants, save for when he must wear particularly extravagant clothing. he prefers to dress himself, when he can.
undoing the silk tie at his waist, dan feng allows the silks to part just enough to allow a hand inside. then, taking blade's wrists, he delicately plucks his gloves away, then guides both of his hands beneath the fabric, allowing him to feel the gentle swell of his abdomen. ]
no subject
but then his hands are being guided inside dan feng's silks to press against his lower belly, and— ]
Oh, [ blade says softly, pressing his palms softly to the curve he can feel there. it isn't terribly noticeable, or wouldn't be, except that blade is intimately familiar with dan feng's naked body and the usually-flat planes of his abdomen, so to him the small bump feels obvious as anything. ] Oh...
[ their child, growing inside. the thought is nearly overwhelming. blade's thumbs brush softly across cool skin, and his gaze lifts from dan feng's stomach up to meet his eyes again. blade's expression is both shocked and moved, delighted by this small sign of burgeoning life inside his—
his what? his lover? no. his prince, that's all. ]
May I speak out of turn, your highness? [ blade asks, and then without waiting for a response says, ] I think pregnancy will be beautiful on you.
no subject
he can't find the words for it. doesn't understand the nature of the feeling that tightens in his chest, for he has never really felt love before. all he knows is that he wants to keep blade near, needs to keep him near, needs this little family to remain safe and secure at any cost. he does not know if blade feels the same way, but given the look that crosses his face dan feng can guess that he is feeling a similar protective urge toward their child, and perhaps.. perhaps some sort of happiness and awe.
dan feng's mouth curves into a soft, muted smile, easy and warm, and he chuckles under his breath, his hand moving over blade's on his belly, holding it close. ]
Well, I will allow you to speak out of turn when it flatters me so nicely.
[ he teases, idly threading his fingers through blade's rough ones, squeezing lightly. ]
Long ago, the personal guard of the crown lived in the room beside mine. It is connected by a secret passage behind the tapestry behind you. I would like for you to stay there, if you are willing.
no subject
blade wants to kiss him so badly it makes him ache. he resists only barely, and even then he still has to press his mouth to dan feng's shoulder over the silk of his robes, to give his lips something else to do. ]
I am willing, [ he says immediately. it requires no thought at all. if there's a room for blade there, one that would allow him to be close to dan feng, to be at his side should he need anything at all, then blade would never in a million amber eras choose to be anywhere else. ] I will be ready, as soon as the arrangements are made.
[ all the while, his hand stays where it is, cupped softly against dan feng's belly. more than likely, blade won't move it until dan feng tells him he has to. ]
Please call on me for anything you need, your highness, [ blade adds after a second, lifting his head so he can study dan feng's beautiful face. ] I may not be able to claim this child publicly, but... in privacy, it would honor me if you would let me support you as the father of your child should.
no subject
why would he need close companions? he is strong and clever enough on his own. his preceptors are company enough, and they annoy him far more than they delight him - dan feng has more important things on his mind than companionship. but now that he has experienced something like it..
.. well, he would not necessarily call blade a friend. a lover, yes, and now a confidant, but that is all they are, isn't it? this feeling in his chest hints at more, the warm tightness that he feels when their eyes meet goes beyond physical wanting, but dan feng is not emotionally capable enough to understand it for what it is. he does not know what love feels like, he only knows that when blade presses his face into his shoulder it makes his heart flip, warmth burgeoning in his breast like a lotus unfurling its petals.
he wants to kiss him, too. ]
Good. There should be no complaints, especially not when this pregnancy comes to light. I will need the extra protection.
[ their eyes meet again, and dan feng follows his instinct, leaning in to touch their brows together, to nudge his nose alongside blade's in quiet affection, both of their hands still pressed lightly over his abdomen. ]
I do not know what to expect. It has been countless amber eras since my kind reproduced naturally, it's entirely possible that it may not work out. Only time will tell.
no subject
[ but something in his heart of hearts still feels determined to believe that this pregnancy will proceed as it should, safe and healthy and strong. dan feng is an incredibly capable healer, after all, and blade himself is in excellent health—with the two of them as parents, shouldn't their child stand the greatest chance of being carried to term and being born without issue?
(granted, this is just blade's blind faith in dan feng; there's certainly science to it that he doesn't understand.)
unable to resist the temptation, blade leans forward just enough to close the gap between their mouths, pressing a brief but warm kiss to dan feng's lips. for a moment, he allows himself to be caught up in the moment, relishing the familiar sensation of dan feng's mouth against his, the taste of him on blade's lips—
there's a clatter of something just outside dan feng's door, maybe a tray being dropped, and blade comes sharply back to himself. he withdraws both his kiss and his hand from within dan feng's silks, although his gaze is still warm with affection when he looks over from a respectable distance away. ]
I should go before we're discovered, [ he says. ] Call for me soon, your highness. I'll be waiting.
no subject
it's foolish, he knows - foolish to hope that it will succeed. what will become of blade if he is found out? what would become of their child?
well, dan feng is nothing if not confident in his ability. he may be restrained by government and politics, but in the end, there are none who can match him in power, and they will learn that the heard way, should they even attempt to take his child or his lover from him. he has known about this pregnancy for only a week now, but he knows that he would tear down the world for their child without hesitation.
blade leans in, and dan feng meets him halfway, leaning into the kiss with a soft, quiet hum, his hands lifting to cup blade's jaw, and he's ready to push for more when he hears the noise beyond his door, and blade pulls back from him. ]
I will. I won't keep you waiting.
[ not this time. and, in fact, it isn't long at all before dan feng calls for his bodyguard again. it takes less than a week for the room beside his own to be prepared, and while his preceptors and advisors question the need for excess safety, in the end they have no real reason to attempt to deny him. so it is that five days later blade is summoned not to dan feng's quarters, but to his own, new ones, where his prince waits for him beside the door. ]
no subject
but when the orders come, it doesn't seem that anyone is yet aware of the true reason for the change. blade packs his things as commanded and keeps his mouth shut, but once he's made his way up to the new space and been given his new orders, the first thing blade does after the commander has left is to enter the room and find dan feng waiting for him. ]
Your Highness, [ he says as he drops his rucksack atop a low bench near the front door. blade bows, as propriety dictates he must, and then straightens so he can cross the room to stop a few steps in front of dan feng. ] It seems I've been reassigned as your personal guard for the time being.
[ it's not blade's place to ask what dan feng's plans are as far as revealing his pregnancy. he'll find out when he needs to find out. for now, he's just reveling in the novelty of being so close to dan feng—to being allowed to be so close to dan feng, without having to sneak away in the wee hours of the morning to make it back to the barracks before training begins.
it's also not blade's place to be the one to reach for dan feng first, so he keeps his hands firmly at his sides as he says, ]
I'm yours to command as you see fit.