i want that can't sleep love

[loong]

[ truth be told, dan feng is a little bit nervous.

they've been waiting to try this for quite a long time, after all, and with the kemmering finally approaching, well.. what better opportunity could there be? his mate's heat will stimulate dan feng's own rut, they'll both be at their most fertile, there's no reason not to at least give it a chance. no reason to be pessimistic, however low the chances might be. if they don't try, the chances will always be zero.

dan feng has made everything as comfortable for them as possible. their shared sprawling penthouse is clean, dinner is prepared, and anything they could possibly need or want is laid out. he's cleared out a space in their sunken common area, and lined it with thick blankets, pillows and cushions, like a nest, so they can be close to the kitchen and bathroom if necessary, and they can enjoy the view of the city together. there's even a bottle of white wine chilling in a silver bucket on a low table, beside two glasses.

he's dressed lightly, in simple hanfu, one pale green robe with a sash, his feet bare and his hair loose, all ornaments and jewelry removed and laid aside.

when aphelios arrives home, he will find dan feng sitting comfortably in the nest in the half lotus position, eyes closed as he meditates, eyes closed, and in his lap.. are several soft, beautiful, pearlescent eggs wrapped in silk, and kept close to absorb his warmth. he breathes deeply, calming and centering himself as he waits. ]


texting

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[heartsteel]

[ focused on rinsing and then drying his hands, aphelios doesn't notice dan feng's reaction at first—he assumes that his husband is just quiet in thought, as he so often is. and why wouldn't he be? this is clearly someone he hasn't seen in a long time, and considering the way dan feng left his previous life it makes sense that he needs a moment to consider how to respond, how to feel—

but then he turns, and his smile falters at the look of... terror on dan feng's face, more abjectly devastated than anything aphelios has ever seen before. his heart stutters in his chest and as he moves toward dan feng he hears that one word, croaked out— ]

Ying—Yingxing? [ dan feng's ex, yingxing? the one who hates him now? the one who almost definitely wants dan feng dead, quite literally, not in the exaggerated drama queen way but in the would put a knife through dan feng's eye if he had the chance way?

phel's knees go weak, and he braces himself briefly against the counter before he forces himself upright again to go to dan feng. one hand at his waist, the other at his jaw, coaxing, steadying as aphelios rests their foreheads together. small comforts. there's nothing he can do that will make this better, but he hopes at least dan feng can draw some small bit of strength from him now. ]

I'm so—I'm so sorry, I had no idea... he seemed so... polite—oh, sweetheart... [ it's not aphelios' own safety he worries for now, as he pulls back a little to look at dan feng properly. ] Are you going to—is he coming after you? Baby, I'm sorry, you know I hate to push, but if this man is a danger to you I need to know exactly how much.

[loong]

[ he feels numb with rage and shock, his entire body tense all over, hands balled into tight fists at his sides, where his nails dig deep into his palms.

it isn't until aphelios draws near, and touches him, that dan feng snaps out of his brief fugue. swallowing thickly, he takes a moment to close his eyes and center himself, pulling in a deep breath, exhaling slowly, before he shakes his head. ]

You're not pushing. It's all right.

[ this involves aphelios, after all, it involves their entire family, their safety, he has every right to know everything he could want to know about yingxing, and how threatening he truly is. but dan feng isn't worried about himself, he's worried about aphelios, about their unborn twins; blade is unpredictable, angry and mara-struck, he could have easily driven shard sword straight through phel's stomach without warning and without remorse.

the very thought - dan feng's arms coil tightly around aphelios. he just needs a moment.. a moment to register that his husband is safe, that their babies are safe, though his heart is pounding against his ribs. ]

He is.. very dangerous. Now that he has found me, he will stop at nothing to take me down. Nothing is sacred to him. It is likely that he will try to use you to lure me out.

[ he closes his eyes tightly. ]

I need to think..

[heartsteel]

Okay. [ dan feng's chest is a solid weight against which aphelios leans. he wraps his own arms around dan feng's waist and focuses on this, their bodies pressed together, whole and unharmed. ] It's okay, baby, we'll get through this together.

[ aphelios' belly presses to dan feng's, and he is momentarily blindingly grateful to have married this wonderful man. how strong he is, with his arms around phel. there is strength and beauty even in his vulnerability, in the way he lets himself be afraid. ]

The label has security firms we contract with for our artists. I can start there, for you and me.

[ the column of dan feng's spine, the strong shape of his shoulderblades through his shirt. aphelios draws his hands over them slowly, as if memorizing the lines of his husband's body. reassuring himself. ]

But we're safe right now, and we're gonna stay that way. [ after a moment, phel draws back to look into dan feng's face again, meeting his eyes with determination. ] Are you okay, A-Feng? Be honest.

[loong]

[ though dan feng is admittedly terrified, aphelios' closeness, his warm touch is enough to begin to calm him, though it can't tame the fear. this was far too close. the worst could have so easily occurred and he would have been none the wiser. dipping his head, dan feng presses his face against his husband's neck, nuzzling there, breathing in his familiar comforting scent. ]

I.. no, I'm not.

[ aphelios had asked for honesty, and he will give it. swallowing tightly, dan feng pulls back just enough to cup his beloved's cheek in one gloved palm, exhaling slowly in an attempt to calm his racing heart. ]

I was a fool to think that he would not find me here, and Pheli, you - he could have killed you..

[ killed him, and their beautiful babies, still so new and unborn. ]

I cannot lose you. [ he whispers, touching their brows together, his free arm tightening around aphelios' waist. ] Aphelios..

[ they need to think of a plan, and quickly, but right now dan feng needs to calm himself enough to be able to think straight. ]

[heartsteel]

[ their foreheads press together and aphelios exhales a soft breath, relishing the closeness. it's reassuring for him too—while he's easily able to put on a brave face and hold himself steady in the face of dan feng's fear, there is certainly a part of him that's trembling with a terror all his own.

still. he brings one arm up so he can cup the back of dan feng's neck, holding them together. ]

But he didn't. [ his voice is low and reassuring, soothing as much for his own sake as dan feng's. ] He didn't, and you won't. I'm not going anywhere.

[ although at this distance dan feng can't quite see it, aphelios' expression grows determined, his jaw setting as he thinks about it. he can admit, knowing what little he knows about the circumstances of their parting, that yingxing might have the right to be angry, but he sure as hell has no right to come anywhere near either of them. ]

We will do everything in our power to stay safe and make sure he can't get to either of us, and we'll involve whoever we have to involve to make that happen, [ he says. and then, because he knows they're both thinking it: ] And if he so much as looks sideways at our babies I'll tear his fucking throat out myself.

[ it's easy to forget that aphelios spent much of his young adulthood being trained as an assassin... ]

[loong]

[ yes, it's easy to forget that indeed, and that savage little reminder is enough to put dan feng's heart a little more at ease. aphelios is quite capable on his own, yes, which helps to soothe him, and yet.. the fear persists. it's entirely possible that blade could be waiting for them on the street this very moment, having followed home his unknowing husband, which is all the more reason to move quickly, he thinks. ]

I trust that you will do just that.

[ his fierce, wonderful aphelios.. dan feng knows that he would do anything in his power to keep their children safe from harm. though his chest is tight with painful anxiety, dan feng takes a deep breath, and another. ]

You should get in touch with Alune, I'll contact security. We shouldn't stay here, it's dangerous and indefensible. Not to mention, civilians..

[ blade is a wanted criminal with a bounty on his head that's likely twice the amount that the two of them make together, he's reckless and desperate, and by now the mara is surely chewing at him. civilian casualties will hardly be on yingxing's mind. he presses a kiss to aphelios' brow, then another to his mouth, before he's quickly reaching for his phone to dial up the proper contacts. ]