loong | a great escape;

a great escape;

[ this planet.. is a tranquil one. lonely, but peaceful. there are no intelligent species here, but that is, perhaps, for the best - dan feng's penance continues, after all. in escaping the luofu he was not attempting to escape general punishment, only the molting rebirth. fear of losing himself, of losing his memories, his sense of self..

perhaps it made him a coward, to flee, but warm memories are all he has now, and he could not bear to part with them just yet.

so here he waits, alone in his own beautiful purgatory, awaiting the end of his days, nursing his ailing mind, existing in torment and in bliss in equal measure. his hatching rebirth will come in time, and only then, perhaps, will he be free of his sin, or at the very least, free of his pain. the crime of the previous life must be atoned for in the next, but.. his memories of the quintet would vanish, save for in dreams, and his reincarnation could live on.

it's a lush, lovely planet, where he has escaped to, slowly orbiting the glowing deep of a black hole, where time, for him, runs more slowly, dragging out like a string of sticky molasses. there are thick forests and vast wetlands, eighty percent of this world is water, and there is no sign that intelligent life has ever existed here. no ruins. no scrawled paintings in caves. no hidden chambers beneath the seas. three hundred years he has spent combing the globe and found nothing to suggest that anyone but he has walked the earth here. only animals. insects. fish. they make decent company, but dan feng still keeps to himself, living out of a modest shelter built near the water's edge.

three hundred years, and he speaks to no one, says nothing, until the day the majestic luofu blots out the light of the diffracting black hole.

the sight of it stills his heart in his breast, and dan feng finds his throat running dry, but when the small starskiff lands he is standing quietly, watchful and calm, the tip of his tail swaying behind him as he watches jing yuan disembark, resplendent in his general's clothing. he takes a deep breath.. releases it. ]

.. you must have been very keen to find me, to brave the dangers of the black hole.

[ for time.. time is a precious thing, every hour he spends here could be a year on the luofu. ]

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[He gives a small nod and continues taking care of Dan Feng. He washes the soap out of his hair and combs it out once again to make sure everything is untangled and clean. And once the hair is its elegant self once more he moves on to washing up the rest of him.

He runs a cloth along limbs and his chest. Cleaning up their activities and mess. He's so very gentle and careful as he descends lower, especially around the vent. He presses an apologetic kiss to Dan Feng's temple as he swipes along the sore opening. But he makes sure not to linger too long. Enough to make sure it's clean. He next tackles the tail, takes a rougher cloth and runs it along the scales, his hands moving from memory when they did this in their past. He doesn't have quite the right tools to manage scales but he can at least clean them up nice. It's probably been some time, considering where Dan Feng had been living, since they had any sort of proper care and attention. Even that tuft gets brushed out until it's looking perfect.

Every part of Dan Feng is treated with care and attention. Everything all washed up and made flawless once more. Their time draws short and so they probably shouldn't partake in anything more physical. Dan Feng could probably use the rest on those particular parts of him anyway after everything...

And his gaze drifts sadly to the beautiful eggs sitting together at the edge of the tub but only for a moment.]

I'll change the sheets but... would you indulge me in one last nap? When we wake I'll see to it that you're prepared for your journey.

[Just speaking of the end causes a wave of sorrow to pour out of him. Already mourning their parting.]

[ dan feng is quiet and accepting as jing yuan works, his strong hands so gentle as they soap up his skin, as they scrub his smooth soft scales to a beautiful iridescent shine. it feels good, to be clean, even better to be cleaned by the man that he loves, and were he a cat he would surely be purring beneath the attention.

he hadn't enjoyed this sort of thing, at first, when he and yingxing began to fall in love. he was naturally a cold and distant thing, touch had been anathema to him, and he hadn't enjoyed closeness the way he does now - but they pulled him open, slowly and gently peeling away the petals of the lotus until he shone in bloom for them beneath the moon. now, he can hardly get enough of it, most especially after his long imprisonment spent missing them terribly.

once jing yuan finishes, dan feng turns in his arms to face him, lifting a soapy washcloth to begin cleaning off his chest and abdomen as well, clearing away their mess before he reaches to open the drain. ]

I'm more than happy to. [ one last sleep together, wound up in one another's arms. grief at their upcoming separation pulses through the bond, but dan feng does what he can to push it back, to fill himself with warmth and love instead. carefully, he begins to stand. ] Let's go.

[They get out of the tub and he wraps a towel around Dan Feng before going off to change their sheets... Something that's been done an absurd amount of times since they started making love to one another. The bed has been well used, needless to say.

With fresh sheets, new blankets and a few added pillows for good measure he slides on a robe and then perches himself on the edge of the bed. His heart feeling heavier by the moment. And despite the love that Dan Feng is pouring to stop the stem of grief he can't help but mourn already.

Once Dan Feng enters the room he pulls him close, wrapping his arms around the slender waist. He doesn't utter words that won't make a difference. That he doesn't want to part or say goodbye or that he should come with.

Dan Feng has to go... He can't stay here in the Luofu considering who he is. He has to go find Blade and try. And... he, in turn, is bound to the Luofu. That was his price to pay for freeing Dan Heng and insuring he could even come into existence. He cannot just go. Obligation has shackled him here for a little longer.

But one day... hopefully they can be reunited. And he will hold onto that hope as tightly as he can.

Jing Yuan sniffs, pressing his cheek into Dan Feng's stomach.]

When you find Yingxing be sure to tell him I took both your cocks despite him always saying I couldn't.

[His own words make him smile, just a little, as he squeezes the other tightly. Humor helps ease the ache just a little. And he can already picture Yingxing's image, as he once was, rolling his eyes. Blade... Blade would probably just deadpan and be deeply unimpressed. Both images are quite amusing.]

[ while jing yuan sees to the sheets, dan feng dries himself off, rubbing the soft towel over his body and using it to wick the moisture from his hair, and all the rest he's able to pull out with his cloudhymn magic, leaving it sleek and shining and incredibly soft.

once dried, he looks to the eggs with a deep ache in his heart. there is no life in them, he can sense it - beautiful as they are, they will remain inert always, never bearing the life he is desperately eager for. carefully, gently, he gathers all five of them into the towel and carries them back into the room, setting them down on the nightstand before he's slipping into a soft silk robe himself, and stepping toward jing yuan.

.. who is more than happy to pull him in, holding him close, and when he says those words dan feng can't help but laugh. it's a quiet sound, for he is a muted man, but it is nevertheless quite genuine and warm. ]

I'll be sure to tell him. Then you can tell him yourself.

[ he says, then takes jing yuan's face into his hands, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his mouth, languid and slow, taking his time to feel every brush of their lips, to enjoy the warm texture. ]

[He smiles into the kiss, returning it with eyes fluttering closed and lips parting just a little. They shouldn't delve too deep or there will be another round, inevitably. He was a good partner for Yingxing for a reason. Just as insatiable and hungry for attention and affection.]

We could show him? [He offers when he has a chance, lips curling into a mischievous smile.] Or I could take both of you? Or... [His eyes gleam in a way that matches his smile. Clearly about to say something ridiculous.] All three~?

[Two was already more than he was going to be able to manage. He's not young or spry anymore and even then he's not sure if he could have done it as a young Cloud Knight. Not without a lot of rest and that wasn't going to be an option when Jingliu was not going to be sympathetic due to his over eager sexual appetites. But it's fun to tease and throw ideas out there just to watch the reaction.]

What do you say, A-Feng~?

[ no, they shouldn't delve too deep, but dan feng can't help but kiss him. he wants to kiss him a hundred times, a thousand, until the warmth of the memory of jing yuan's lips are seared into his mind, unforgettable. he wants to keep this warmth, and carry it with him to banish the cold darkness, for if he is honest.. he is afraid of what is coming. afraid to leave this warm, perfect place to head into the cold cosmos. afraid of what he will find in his beloved yingxing.

so he'll fill these last hours with happiness, with joy and with love. ]

Please. You could barely take two, you greedy boy.

[ he says, smiling as he smooths a hand back through jing yuan's fluffy hair, pushing it away from his lovely eyes. dan feng's tail snaps around, scales shimmering beautifully, and he coils its end around jing yuan's calf. ]

You'd not be able to walk for weeks.

I'm quite a determined individual, I'll have you know~ [He squeezes the other tight, looking especially cheeky.] And I'll be retired. I won't need to walk around... And if I need to go someplace I'll make Yingxing carry me~

[He laughs, full of mirth as he tugs Dan Feng with him onto the bed, allowing them to get curled up with each other. He loves being wrapped up in his tail. Having it keep him pressed close when sleep sometimes causes him to roll away from the warmth of his lover.

As they nestle together his eyes catch sight of the eggs and his heart fills with regret.]

What... What should I do with your eggs, A-Feng? [There is no life but he also cannot bear the thought of throwing them away.] Should I... Will they keep? I can put them on little stands by some of your old things. They're beautiful even if they don't hold life. They're part of you... And in a small way we made them together.

[ they tumble into bed together, warm and happy and laughing, and dan feng presses in close, tugging the blankets over them both, his tail still snaked around jing yuan to keep him near. ]

Oh yes, I'm sure he will be amenable to that..

[ smiling warmly, he rests his head on the pillow, looking into jing yuan's eyes, smoothing fingers through his soft, fluffy hair. ]

As for the eggs.. [ his gaze drifts to where they sit, cradled in the towel, beautiful and pearlescent. ] Dragon eggs are not like other eggs, they need specific conditions to quicken.

[ his eyes move back to jing yuan. ]

In my case, they would need water and warmth. Without those things - were they fertile - they would remain dormant. If they stay dry, they should keep.

[He nods at this, tucking his head under Dan Feng's chin.]

Then I will keep them and I will cherish them even if they are empty. [His heart is sentimental like that. There's no life in those eggs but he will mourn them as if there were. The chance to be a proper father has come and gone... Those eggs were not going to change that. It is what it is.

For now... He rests. Pressing his lips to Dan Feng's throat, nuzzling in a little further to suckle on the bite he left just earlier. His teeth find the previous indents but he doesn't bite again. He simply savors the connection, relishing in all of this before they part ways. Every blissful and comfortable sensation and all the love they have for one another suffocating all the sad sensations for the time being.

Only happiness here. And love. Joy. Affection.]

[ jing yuan tucks in close, and dan feng holds him, his arms coiled around him, tail still firm around him as well, as if he would smother his lover in his very existence. one hand slips into thick white hair, while the other slides down jing yuan's back, moving in slow, soothing circles as he pushes his love through their bond, his devotion, his promise to live. ]

Sleep well, qin ai de. I love you.

[ jing yuan can feel it through their bond, perhaps, but it always bears saying it aloud. he had said it so rarely, when they were young.. he will not make that mistake again. he will say it often, and with honesty.

at last, dan feng closes his eyes and begins to hum a soft lullaby, to draw them both to sleep. ]

I love you too.

[He murmurs sleepily, easily dozing off. The lullaby makes it an even quicker affair and he sighs contently against his lover. It's a peaceful few hours, wrapped up and warm in Dan Feng's embrace.

But the end to all of this has to come eventually. They have to wake and part ways. The end of this blissful week has come to a close.

During their time together along with food the General had other things sent that Dan Feng would need. Clothing and robes in whites and greens that might suit his lover's fancy. Plenty of rations for a long trip. Blankets and pillows so he can be comfortable no matter where he goes. He also gives him a bag full of some of Yingxing's old things. The hair sticks most importantly. But old jewelry, things he knows belonged to Dan Feng at one point in time.]

As I've said before... Both Cloud Piercer and the bracer are in the hands of your reincarnation but... I hope these few things will do in their stead.

[He even gives Dan Feng a Starskiff to take for his travels. It's an older model that isn't likely to be missed and its one whose tracks can easily be covered if need be. And lastly... Lots of credits, tucked away in a bag when there is a need. He knows Dan Feng would have rejected such a sum so it's hidden, only to be found when going through the sleeping items.

They stand in a tucked away corner of the Luofu where Jing Yuan is wrapping a scarf around the other, because it gets cold out in the stars.]

You should be alright... Finding him will be the trickiest bit but... You're bound together. You will be drawn together one way or another.

[ their time together readying for the trip is somber, but dan feng does what he can to keep it as light as possible. it isn't really in his skillset, to be honest - he's a serious, chilly individual by nature, so keeping things airy is not really his forte, but he tries. he sends soothing love through their bond as he washes up and dresses, as they pack up the things he will be taking with him, and even when he stops before the pile of eggs, dragging his fingertips lightly over each one.

and then together they steal into the night.

by the time they reach the starskiff, dawn is just barely beginning to bloom, warming the sky, the air here already chilly so far from jing yuan's warm and inviting bed. they stand together at the dock, and dan feng closes his eyes as his lover winds his scarf around his neck.

no, not his lover. his partner. his mate. let that not be forgotten. ]

I'll find him. I promise you. You worry about yourself, my heart.

[ resting one hand over jing yuan's heart, he lifts one of his mate's and presses it to his own, so they can feel one another's heartbeats, strong and steady. ]

Stay strong, and find us at the end. Call out through the bond, and I will feel you, no matter how far apart we might be.

[Worry about himself... He swallows thickly and nods. His fingers curl over the fabric of Dan Feng's attire, feeling that thrumming bond as their hearts beat as one while they're still together.

He feels his eyes burning as the other speaks. He feels his heart breaking once again. This isn't the same as the execution. As standing in the Shackling Prison cell looking down at the person he loved so much. But it feels just as terrible. Just as final.

He doesn't say the words only because they get stuck and caught. But his heart cries out for him not to go. It's best if it isn't said... It can't be said because his lover cannot stay here and remain with him. Jing Yuan closes his eyes tight and leans down to rest his forehead against Dan Feng's, tears heavy down his cheeks.]

Be safe... And remember that through all trials and hardships that I love you both dearly.

[ jing yuan's tears make his heart ache, and his own eyes sting and blur. his lover is so sweet, so gentlehearted, leaving him breaks his heart all over again. his desire to stay pulses through their bond, his need to be with jing yuan so strong, so ferocious, that he very nearly gives.

but his lover was right, from the beginning. he needs to go, he needs to find blade out there in the stars, and pave the way for the three of them to be together in the end. this is his duty, his responsibility to the three of them, and the love they shared together, a love he wants to endure endlessly. nudging their noses together, he kisses jing yuan softly and steadily, pouring all of his love into it, his devotion, his sorrow and guilt and incredible, undeniable fondness. ]

I love you, too, with everything that I have.. [ he whispers, closing his eyes and kissing him again, memorizing the texture of his warm and pliant lips. ] I will love you always.

[ pulling away from jing yuan is perhaps the hardest thing that dan feng has ever had to do, and a worry sits deep in the pit of his stomach that this will be the last time he ever feels this kiss. but he must move forward in spite of it. squeezing jing yuan's hand one last time, dan feng slips away, and into the shadows of the starskiff. ]

[Jing Yuan can do nothing but watch him go, reaching out for as long as he can with his bond on that lonely dock, far away from the bustle of the Luofu. All good and blissful things must come to an end. This little thing was no different. And life must resume.

He dries his tears and gathers himself before returning to the lonely and heavy duties as the Arbiter General.

As Dan Feng gets further from the Luofu he gets closer to someone else... eventually. It was impossible not to feel an intense fury and anger while they were together. Blade thrashed and fell into madness over and over and over again. Kafka's spirit whisperer holding him up like a puppet on strings so he couldn't cause anymore destruction.

As grief filled the bond instead he began to settle and eventually all three were thin theads connecting one another and it was hard to feel much of anything unless he focused. He could almost believe that it was some sort of bout of intense mara that caused any of that to happen. Almost. If it wasn't for the new thread that allowed him to feel Jing Yuan now when he most certainly couldn't before. Dan Feng's thread long thought cut and lost also exists but it is the addition of Jing Yuan that builds curiosity over anger. He's clumsy at these mating bond threads. He no longer knows how to navigate. But he curiously reaches out on occasion towards Jing Yuan's threads and feels a gentle touch back, of which he recoils from instantly.

Dan Feng's thread he refuses to acknowledge. Not until he absolutely has to. And that day does inevitably come.

He's with Kafka when it happens. When he feels the snap inside his mind. The thread pulsing and reaching out to him so loudly that he can't ignore it. Not when he knows Dan Feng, somehow, is in his proximity. Perhaps that's why Kafka came. She knows the scrpit and knows what to expect. And knows how to stop him. She glances back at him when he suddenly goes rigid. His sword appearing in his hands as his eyes widen and his breathing turns ragged.

"Bladie..." She warns in that sing song voice of hers. But he can barely hear her over the roaring in his ears. "Bladie." She says again. Sterner, attempting to reign him in. To center him.

He turns and sees him. Imbibitor Lunae. Dan Feng... somehow here. He knows it from their bond. That he lived. It doesn't make sense. He cannot rationalize it. But it also does not matter. Of five names. Three must pay a price. Without allowing another breath to pass he charges forward.

"Listen!"

Pink threads appear in his vision, wrapping around his limbs but he tears through them as he approaches his long hunted quarry with the intent to finally force one name to pay their long over due price.]

[ finding yingxing is not necessarily easy, but it is simple. all he needs to do is follow the thread of their bond into the stars, and he knows that, in the end, he will find the man himself. dan feng does what he can in the meantime, reaching out tentatively toward him, but receiving ire at best, absolute silence at worst, and each attempt only makes his heart sink further. there was once a time when limitless devotion and love flowed through that bond, a time when he was sure that they would be together always, until the end of his dear one's too short life.

foolish dreams from a foolish mind.

he finds his lover on a deserted planet, quiet save for the distinct humming of insects in the long grass, and blade is not alone. this much he is not surprised to see - jing yuan told him of the stellaron hunters, that their lost love had found a place with them, and.. perhaps he was right in pointing out that they should not interfere. that perhaps blade was happy - in his own way - with them. is he doing this for the right reasons? is he being callous, and selfish..?

he only believes that the three of them belong together. that they should be together, in the end. dan feng's presence here may do more harm than good, and yet - what if he is able to help? able to see the light in his lover's eyes again? it's worth the risk. but he must remember his promise to jing yuan, as well. to live.

so when blade charges him, dan feng ascends, his tail whipping as he summons orbs of cloudhymn that levitate in a protective circle around him. ]

Come, then. Try to take what you think you need.

[Blade throws himself against Dan Feng's cloudhymn magic, uncaring how it may tear at him. His movements almost familiar to Jingliu's well practiced and honed stance but more jagged and with sloppy edges. Because the wielder doesn't care about form. Only destruction.

Blade drags the old fractured blade he made a friend, long ago, across his wrist splattering his sick blood against the translucent water of Dan Feng's water, all to stir up the mara within himself and use it with his strikes.]

What I think I need. [He hisses out the words, his voice deeper and hoarser. They hold the emotion of anger and fury but they don't sit right. As if emotion of any kind is a detached thing on his husk of a body. It's the blaze of now scarlet eyes with diamond pupils that show true rage and hatred. Hundreds of years of built up ire clear as day.] What I need you cannot give me! But I will take it from you all the same. What's owed! What's due! Where have you been hiding after all this time? Cowardly! Unbecoming of your once proud station!

[He swings again with all the power he can muster behind each blow. Blood dripping from old bandaged wounds as he slices through his own skin to keep himself going forward.

"Bladie." Comes the voice again. Her heels click as she approaches the two combating former lovers, her own blade in hand. If her companion will not listen she will bring him to heel.

With one hand on her sword the other is held up, the spirit whisperer spinning and looking to cling to any mind that deigns to attack her. Not that Blade in this state stands a chance... It's the other one she's a little more concerned about.]

[ dan feng, though he sees her approach in his periphery, has no plans to attack her, not until she attacks first - his hands are full with blade alone, and the scent of his blood thick in the air.

seeing him like this..

jing yuan's explanations could never have prepared him for the reality. yingxing had always been arrogant and brash, even brutal in his approach sometimes, but this is so far removed from the man that he loves that it makes his heart twist behind his ribs, an old, aching pain rising to the surface again. it kills him inside, to see his lover tear himself apart, and to see such hatred burning in his eyes, eyes that once looked upon him with love and devotion he thought would linger always. dan feng's throat clenches, his eyes burning with hot tears. ]

Please..

[ he whispers, and all he can do is strengthen his barrier against blade's ruthless onslaught, the water frothing pink with blood. the thought crosses his mind again - that he could let the barrier down, allow that blade to run him through, if it would bring even a modicum of peace to his yingxing - but he cannot. he owes it to jing yuan to stay alive. he owes it to yingxing to try to calm his burning heart. so with one hand outstretched to keep the water between them, dan feng closes his eyes, and reaches out through the bond.

all of his love. his heartache. all of his devotion, his sorrow, his guilt.. he pours it between them, coiling it around his lover's bleeding heart, soothing and warm, thick with adoration and the nostalgia of a thousand wonderful memories. ]

Please, my heart..

[The barrage of memories do flood through him. The bond full of warmth and adoration and love...

It stops his blade from continuously swinging. But only momentarily. A laugh, manic and loud rips through his throat and he brings the gloved hand to his head, eyes wide and unseeing.]

What is any of this? It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't belong to me, this past of yours... That man is dead. And only I remain.

[He brings his blade across his arm again prepared to thust forward to slash through the water as best he can and to sever whatever limb the foolish high elder thought to reach out to him with. Eyes bright with hatred suddenly go wide and then dim.

Kafka's blade pierces through the chest of Blade her expression blank as she twists it some.

"I said listen, Bladie... Bad boys don't get to play."

The light fades from Blade's eyes rapidly. He brings a hand to the sword piercing through him, fingers dipping into the wound.]

Is there... a chance... This time...

[He sinks to the ground, her blade sliding out of him as he falls in a heap. His blood pooling beneath her heels. To which she lets out a whiny sigh.]

Bladie... You always get your blood all over my jacket.

[She tuts as she looks it over with a small frown before settling for shaking out her weapon and lifting her gaze towards the High Elder, a coy smile curling at her lips.]

Myyyy... You're quite troublesome. A sudden script change at the eleventh hour. But I couldn't let him kill you. Your death would have caused the General of the Luofu to instantly get struck with mara seeing as you bound yourself to him and all that. And I fear I need him elsewhere. There's a lot of plans in place and your resurrection, however it happened, can't interfere.

You seem a bit behind the times so let me fill you in while Bladie here is down for the count. Are you going to listen Imbibitor Lunae?

[ dan feng's mouth opens to offer an argument, but the words he planned to say are brutally cut off when kafka's blade pierces his old lover's body.

he knew. he knew that blade was chasing death, he knew that he'd died countless times, unable to stay permanently dead, but seeing it with his own eyes, seeing that sword run him through, and watching the pain in his eyes.. watching the light fade -

in an instant, his heart is torn apart, deep and raging anguish rippling through their shared bonds powerfully enough that surely jing yuan will feel it, wherever the luofu is in the stars. it does not matter that his love will heal, does not matter that he will rise again, he can't consider that, not while he watches blade's body slump bonelessly into the bloody grass. dan feng cries out, furious and aching with grief, his mind full of images of baiheng, the quintet, her body torn apart, leaving only a shred behind.. it's as if he is that man again, helpless to stop those he loves from dying. his ears ring. his heart pounds.

he never wanted to feel this pain again, the terrible punch of grief that steals the wind from his lungs, and the way it shivers through their bond, sickly and cold - it's a feeling that will stick with him forever, he's sure.

the water dissipates, and dan feng crumples to his knees, his hands clutching at blade's chest, staining his sleeves and palms in sticky scarlet. this is so incredibly, wrenchingly wrong. kafka is speaking, and he can barely make out what she is saying, distant though her voice sounds, until that word strikes his mind - listen.

his head snaps up, eyes wide and wet, his expression smooth in abject shock.

he's listening. ]

[She cants her head to the side as she watches the scene. How he mourns and screams and wails.]

Heeey. There's no need for such grief. He's going to be up again before you know it. I've had to kill him countless times. Sometimes he gets a bit too wound up. His memories cause him a great deal of pain and the mara is a nasty thing even for us to handle.

[She kneels down with him, her lips curling into a smile.]

Bladie doesn't like to talk about his past or himself very much. So I'm not going to have all the answers you probably want. But I'll tell you what I can. After a long time of chasing after your reincarnation he came to us and was offered a deal. Join our cause and Elio will give him the eternal rest he desires. Pretty enticing deal for ol' Bladie. Tricky part was when he first came to us he was more beast than man. Took a bit of training and a lot of killing and quite a bit of memory wiping but he can be quite the docile little thing...

And that's the thing. Bladie is calm when he can't remember. When you're removed from his memories. When the General is. When the Luofu. And all those pretty little memories you've made together. That's when he's at his best. The mara is the weight and accumulation of memories, after all. You take some of those away and the weight lifts and the mind can function again. But when they start to accumulate and build once more... Then you have yourselves a marastruck. There's other factors too. Stress and war and soldiers succumb quite early and so on and so forth... Yaoshi's created a nasty little plague in the Xianzhou people, hasn't she? [She tuts and her gaze flickers to Blade's body. An expression flickers across her face but only for a fleeting moment before she's offering that cruel smile of hers once more.] Mara is what it is. It cannot be cured but it can be managed.

Assuming you can calm him. Assuming you can reconcile whatever grievance you two have. The mara will persist. And what then will you do, High Elder? And what will you do when you have two mara struck individuals at your side assuming the General makes it through the grand finale?

Didn't you learn long ago that you can't save everyone?

[Her eyes gleam and her expression becomes a touch wicked but she begins to stand, her threads fading and retracting. At least from Dan Feng.]

I'll let you have him for now. But I won't be far, just in case. Death mellows him out for a time but his reaction to you one can't be certain. But you two have a lot to talk about. A lot to think about, even...

[ you can't save everyone..

a terrible, cold, and cruel truth. one that he defies at every turn. why? why can't he save everyone? why can't he find the solution for his people, for his loved ones? instead, everything he touches turns to ash. perhaps kafka has the right of it, as jing yuan had - if he.. if he can be content with them, if he can find his place beside someone else, where the mara plagues him less, then isn't letting him go the right choice..?

nothing feels right anymore. everything he's ever been so sure about is crumbling. with a sharp pain in his chest, dan feng recalls all of those promises that they made beneath the light of the moon, the gifts they exchanged. the love. now, his presence does nothing but cause his lover pain.

the things that she says.. they are not new, they are thoughts that he has harbored since the moment he opened his eyes again, since he fell into jing yuan's arms on that lonely planet. what will he do, when they are both crazed with mara? there is no happy ending, here. there is nothing that can save them. no, he cannot save everyone.. why can he not, at least, save those that he loves? is that too much to ask? this must be what he deserves. but if he can make what time they have left together count, if he can make it mean something..

kafka stands, and dan feng remains where he is, crumpled on his knees, his fine clothing soaked in blade's blood, and as she withdraws, he folds forward, burying his face against his old lover's maimed chest. though he feels numb, his body pulsing, he cannot stop the tears that stream from his eyes. ]

[There is nothing but silence that answers his sobs and sorrows. Jing Yuan's bond far from them both still makes a weak attempt at comfort. The grief of his beloved ones only cuases grief of his own. But still he tries...

Blade remains nothing more than a corpse for a lengthy few minutes more before the body shudders. And the first intake of breath after being slain is always a painful one. It rips through his body as it jolts itself into existence once more. And every one that follows is a ragged and uncertain thing as everything within him begins working once more, much to his never ending dismay.

Death always come with the sense of being disorinented at first. And he feels that in spades now. Blade's eyes flutter open and then promptly closed as pain and confusion flood his mind. He focuses on something else. Anything else.

He can feel Jing Yuan's warmth through the bond that's been created. An easy thing to turn to... Like the sun. It brings comfort in his current state. And he can feel Dan Feng... Something in him, something deep down and forgotten, wants that too. To comfort the sorrow that he can't understand. His fingers, battered and bloody and no longer able to make and craft as they once did reach out blindly. Eventually they find the fabric of Dan Feng's sleeves and curl around the fabric, smearing more blood across the pretty silks.]

Qīn'ài de.

[ it is perhaps jing yuan's warmth that is all that keeps him grounded right now, all that keeps him focused on what he must be focused on. just as he has sought to throw himself from the luofu's towers that night, so now does he feel the temptation to lift his lover's blade and drive it through his suffering heart, anything to end this infernal nagging torment.. but jing yuan's faint presence remains, soothing and kind, keeping him strong. his life is no longer his own, anymore. he owes it to them to carry on.

when blade stirs, dan feng holds even more tightly, unwilling to let him go. the stench of blood is strong, and it's sticky as it cools on his body and in his clothing, but he pays it no mind, can only hold close against the torment. his old lover breathes again, ragged and painful, and dan feng closes his stinging eyes for a moment - until those fingers reach for him, until he hears those words. his chest constricts immediately, fresh tears flooding his eyes as he lifts his head. ]

My heart.

[ he whispers, and with both hands, takes blade's face between them, cradling it gently with his bloodied palms. lowering himself again, he touches their brows gently together. ]

I am with you..

[ there is so much to be said, so much to be worked through, but all he can manage is a soft, shuddering sob. ]

[Where Dan Heng can claim that is not the same person as Dan Feng it is different with Blade. Yingxing and he are still connected. He is still in his body. Still has his memories. Still has his thoughts. And feelings. Parts of him are dead. Long dead... But there is enough of him left within that makes the mara claw at him. Enough to make him hesitate and feel things he no longer wishes to feel.

It makes him ache. And he already aches enough!

His thoughts begin to reshape themselves and refocus. Yingxing is fading away but not enough to allow that all consuming rage to bubble over again. Though he holds no affection for the person weeping against him. Whose holding his face as if they know one another. They don't... Not anymore. He has so few memories of Dan Feng and in turn Dan Feng has no clue what kind of person he is now.

They are nothing more than strangers.]

Why are you here? [Blade retracts from both men reaching out to both of them with their bond. He lashes out and snaps at Jing Yuan's touch and more so at Dan Feng's.] You cannot grant my wish and thus your presence is a burden... Kafka won't let me kill you so run away because when my duty is done I will finish what I started here.

Or go back to hiding as you have these endless centuries...

[For all his words are cruel and sharp, purposely to push the other away he makes no move to pull away himself, other than dropping the sleeve from his broken grasp. Maybe because it hurts. Maybe that part of Yingxing doesn't want to be let go of. Whatever the reason he can only hope that Dan Feng leaves him here on the ground and he can simply wait for Kafka's return. And then she can erase this whole encounter from his mind allowing him some peace from this torment.]

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