loong | a great escape;

a great escape;

[ this planet.. is a tranquil one. lonely, but peaceful. there are no intelligent species here, but that is, perhaps, for the best - dan feng's penance continues, after all. in escaping the luofu he was not attempting to escape general punishment, only the molting rebirth. fear of losing himself, of losing his memories, his sense of self..

perhaps it made him a coward, to flee, but warm memories are all he has now, and he could not bear to part with them just yet.

so here he waits, alone in his own beautiful purgatory, awaiting the end of his days, nursing his ailing mind, existing in torment and in bliss in equal measure. his hatching rebirth will come in time, and only then, perhaps, will he be free of his sin, or at the very least, free of his pain. the crime of the previous life must be atoned for in the next, but.. his memories of the quintet would vanish, save for in dreams, and his reincarnation could live on.

it's a lush, lovely planet, where he has escaped to, slowly orbiting the glowing deep of a black hole, where time, for him, runs more slowly, dragging out like a string of sticky molasses. there are thick forests and vast wetlands, eighty percent of this world is water, and there is no sign that intelligent life has ever existed here. no ruins. no scrawled paintings in caves. no hidden chambers beneath the seas. three hundred years he has spent combing the globe and found nothing to suggest that anyone but he has walked the earth here. only animals. insects. fish. they make decent company, but dan feng still keeps to himself, living out of a modest shelter built near the water's edge.

three hundred years, and he speaks to no one, says nothing, until the day the majestic luofu blots out the light of the diffracting black hole.

the sight of it stills his heart in his breast, and dan feng finds his throat running dry, but when the small starskiff lands he is standing quietly, watchful and calm, the tip of his tail swaying behind him as he watches jing yuan disembark, resplendent in his general's clothing. he takes a deep breath.. releases it. ]

.. you must have been very keen to find me, to brave the dangers of the black hole.

[ for time.. time is a precious thing, every hour he spends here could be a year on the luofu. ]

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[ his jing yuan is so lovely.. so kind. dan feng smiles, sad but soft. ]

All right. I'll allow you to spoil me.

[ yingxing's hairpins, kept for so long.. it makes dan feng's heart ache for their lost lover, but it will be good to have some of his things close, to carry yingxing with him across the stars.. and jing yuan, too. ]

But only if you promise me something of yours to take with me, as well. A hair ribbon, perhaps.

[ so he can have them both with him, when he's feeling alone. ]

[He noses into Dan Feng's temple and hums an agreement.]

I'll give you a ribbon and a few other trinkets that may serve you well. [He has some treasures that will serve his lover better than he. The General takes in a deep breath and is gentle in sliding Dan Feng off his lap a bit so he can access his hair. He reaches for a comb and begins to run it through the tangled strands.] I'll also ensure that you have extra things to wear and that your journey through the stars is as comfortable as possible...

Whatever you need for your lengthy travels.

[With the long hair brushed out he begins to get it damp, being mindful of getting water into the former high elder's eyes.]

Even if I cannot make it... I hope you two find each other and manage to be as you once were.

[He means that with all his heart, he does. Earnest honesty pours from the bond but it is also coated with a hint of sorrow, a kind of sadness he can't hide from Dan Feng anymore. There are no more smiles and assurances that he will be fine while hiding his true feelings as he's done for hundreds upon hundreds of years. That's taken some getting used to even in just their few days together.]

[ jing yuan is, as always, far too good to him, offering him more than he asked for, to see to it that dan feng's travels are as comfortable and safe as they can possibly be. truly, he does not deserve this man, this wonderful, warm, gentle lion of a man..

the comb in his hair feels nice, and dan feng closes his eyes, relishing in the feel of it, the gentle tugs at his scalp, and the slide of jing yuan's fingers through his inky locks. it's easy to understand why jing yuan enjoys this so much - having his hair touched; it sends a shiver down dan feng's spine. he listens quietly, breathing a soft exhale, trying to accept jing yuan's words for what they are. the possibility that he will not make it to them. it's like a knife in his heart.

but he can't say that jing yuan is wrong. they're grown men, not young boys, both of them are quite capable of seeing what is ahead of them, and the past has not been kind - they have no reason to think that the future shall be any kinder. still.. dan feng wants to believe. ]

You will make it. [ he says quietly, sending his love and assurance through the bond, his belief in jing yuan's abilities and devotion. ] We will wait for you, at the end of the universe.

[If he survives whatever is being set up. If he can find them. If he can fend off the encroaching mara long enough. And then what... Have his two old lovers watch him slowly lose his mind? He can't imagine what that scene will do to Blade's own Mara. It could turn so violent and bloody.

It might be a kindness to them all to not find them. To let the Ten Lords do their job so he can meet the fate of all those who become Marastruck. Or go somewhere far away where he can't do any harm and...

His thoughts and feelings are no longer just his own. So he tries not to stay on this line of thinking for too long lest he upset Dan Feng further. Or well... they need to speak of Yingxing so there is no not upsetting his partner.]

At the very least you will be there, hm? Let me tell you what to expect of Yingxing... [He reaches for a bottle to begin lathering up the other's hair, digging his fingers into the scalp and massaging the suds in to the hair.] I don't know what become of him after everything, truth be told. But I know that Jingliu and him found each other. Master was already marastruck by then and... so was he. Whatever happened to him during all of that turned him into a long life species, cursed with immediate mara and one that had taken hold immediately.

I know only the smallest details of what has been relayed in bits and pieces by various parties. Whatever transpired exactly between those two you will have to learn for yourself. But I do know is that he now wields the blade he made for her so long ago and it is a broken and damaged thing, seemingly held together by the mara itself as if it were an extension of him.

Somewhere along the line in his path to destroy himself Yingxing ran across a group of individuals known as the Stellaron Hunters. They are a criminal organization that do just about anything you can think of. And Yingxing has quite the bounty for his arrest... His crimes many and regrettable. But for what it's worth he has found a place with them all. Though he is difficult to read these days from what I was able to gather in their short time here he cares for them, in his way, and I would dare to say they care for him in turn.

[His fingers move further along the hair, lathering up the long strands right down to the ends.]

But his criminal activities should be the least of your concerns... Yingxing is not who he once was and has in fact discarded that name completely. He goes by Blade now. The once grumpy blacksmith that was arrogant and rude but still full of warmth that burned hotter than his furnace there is now... nothing. He is a shell of who he once was. Despondent to everything and with a deeply singular focus of seeing the end to a few members of our fractured quintet. He spent a great deal of time hunting down your reincarnation... A path he has since stepped back from, for a time... His ultimate goal is to find his own demise. An end to his eternal life. He is careless with his body as he tears it apart as much as his enemies.

His memories are fractured and broken... A trait of mara, of course, but there is an external force that is wiping them in order to keep the mara in check. Though that is the extent of my knowledge in regards to that. I would be prepared that the life you lived together no longer exists within him anymore, those memories discarded some time ago.

[His fingers card through the long strands, thumb brushing along the ends but before he does anything more he pulls Dan Feng close, smearing the soapy suds along his chest, holding him as he continues to say these things that will only bring pain and sorrow.]

You will not have trouble recognizing him but he does not look as you might think. The mara reversed his time along side extending it. His hair is back to its inky color, tinted red at the ends... The familiar silver that we got used to is no longer. The lines of age have vanished too. And the vivid purple of his eyes have faded into the mara scarlet with pupils that you would not recognize from our once craftsman. He is a picture of scars and wounds that he won't let heal... Old burns from the furnace are now replaced by scars that make the fingers stiff and unable to create...

He is different in every way from the man you remember and I need you to be prepared as possible for what you find. If it hurts, if it's too much... If you cannot reach him then say what you must and leave. Do not linger with a man that will only cause you unfathomable pain. You can't save him or free him from his suffering. None of us can...

Sometimes the kinder thing to do is let go.

[Rich coming from him but not untrue.]

[ jing yuan goes on at length, and dan feng remains respectfully silent as he speaks, panting for him a terribly picture of his beloved, an image of pain and violence, of fury and blood, and with each word spoken he feels his heart sink deeper into his gut. some of these things are not terribly surprising, given what little dan feng knows, but others.. shock him. to think that his dearest yingxing could be capable of such terrible things makes his heart twist in his breast, for even the sedition had been performed out of love and grief.

mara is an awful, terrible thing.

even worse is the advice that jing yuan gives, that he should give up, leave him to his suffering and madness, let go. the very mention of it draws a soft, pained noise from dan feng's chest, his eyes squeezing closed against the deluge of emotion. ]

.. it is my fault, Jing Yuan. My choices led directly to Yingxing becoming what he is now. My pain is irrelevant.

[ and perhaps.. it is even deserved. should blade choose to use dan feng's body as a punching bag to vent his spleen, then.. then perhaps he should allow him to, if it brings him even the smallest sliver of relief and catharsis. surely it is the least that dan feng can do for him, to allow him to ease his suffering in any way possible. ]

[He can feel all of Dan Feng's pain but he has to steel himself against it to tell him how things are. He needs to hear it even if it hurts it has to be done. He cannot send his lover into the maw of Blade's madness without warning him of it first.

However... He can't help his own surge of grief when Dan Feng denies leaving Blade be. Of accepting that fate. The old ache of not being held in the same regard as Yingxing can't help but fester. It seems like a wound that will never heal. Not when things like this are said to him. Perhaps worse... it cannot be hidden. And that seems unfair, in a way. But he will meet this pain head on because he must. Because there's no hiding from it.]

And what of me, Dan Feng? [He asks softly.] Not every transgression in this world must be paid with blood. If no forgiveness can be accepted. If his rancor and hate runs too deep then why not turn away from it. He is not suffering alone out in the universe. He has found individuals that care for him and look out for him.

You would simply die at his hands to satisfy him? You are not just bound to him anymore... Your life is not just his to take. It is also mine to have and cherish. Do I not have a say in if you live or die? And if I do not... then why? Why must I continue to wait while you two go off and throw your lives away again?

[It feels bitter and childish to feel this way but he knows, he knows it's not. The pain burns hot in his chest like bubbling acid. And tears prick at the corner of his eyes for what feels like the hundredth time in their time together. The eyelids feel sore from the flood of emotions that keep pouring through. But why...? Why must he always be left behind. Even with the bond he still can't reach them.]

Surely you did not bite me simply to placate me as one would a child...

[Now that is a bitter and childish thing to say... and he knows it's not true. He does. He's felt the love and warmth in abundance over the course of these few days. It has given him all the reason to toss his doubts away about how cherished he is. But Yingxing, as ever, changes things. And perhaps in matters like these one will always hold favor over another.

He should apologize, he knows. But the words stick and he cannot utter them. Perhaps because he would not mean it. He feels bruised by this conversation and his emotions feel prickly and on edge as he cannot escape the bond nor pull away from it to try and hide how he feels, ashamed of the emotions that flood through and are ugly vile things.]

[ a prickle of annoyance spikes through their bond, and dan feng turns, looking jing yuan directly in the eye. ]

Is that what you think, Jing Yuan? Having felt my heart rippling through yours, you still truly believe that I see you that way?

[ he shifts in the water, to better face jing yuan, his expression tight with pain and simmering anger. has he still not proven to jing yuan that he loves him just as much as he loved yingxing? that he adores him from the crown of his head to the tips of his toes? his relationship with yingxing is intense, yes, but it is no more or less what he feels for jing yuan, and to be entirely fair, were it jing yuan who desired to kill him for his sins.. dan feng would allow that, as well, if it brought him relief from his pain, and made up for his terrible transgressions.

his hands lift, bracketing jing yuan's face and turning it to meet his eyes head on. ]

Do not run from me.

[ he can feel it, the way jing yuan tries to resist the bond, tries to pull away from him, tries to hide his shame and grief, but there is no hiding anymore. ]

I would die at his hands.. because I deserve it, qin ai de. Because I have caused irreparable damage to his heart. To yours. To my people. You of all people understand responsibility, and how it should not be run from.

[ after all, is jing yuan not remaining here on the luofu out of a sense of duty, rather than following his heart, and going with dan feng to find their lost love? in truth it stings him, that jing yuan chooses his duty over him, over them, but he respects it, because that is jing yuan's way, that is who he is. he is a dutiful, responsible man. touching their brows together, he exhales in a shiver, closing his stinging eyes. ]

I do not.. deserve happiness. It has nothing to do with him, or you. I love you both with everything I have, stop thinking you are lesser.

[He does try to run... To have his true feelings, ugly as they are, seen is uncomfortable. He's used to hiding everything behind smiles. And were they not connected at present he would do it here as well. But as they are he has to confront all this ugliness head on. Or as close to head on as he can for even as Dan Feng captures his face his eyes remain lowered.

All Dan Feng's words do is create a buzz of irritation and waves of hurt.]

Maybe that's true... Maybe you do deserve it. And maybe you do not deserve happiness. But... don't I?

[He hates the words as they leave his lips. Because they're so selfish. Far selfish than he is comfortable being even if he does not think them wrong, exactly. He who has spent so much of his days trying to undo the damage caused by old friends. While still trying to protect the little pieces of them that were left behind. His very home is a self made grave of old friends and it is where he has chosen to reside.]

I am not as strong as Master. And I am not as resilient as Yingxing. When the mara comes there will be no resisting it. I have sustained too many deep Abundance aligned injuries for it not to come and come swiftly. If you have created this bond with me only to perish senselessly...

[He closes his eyes trying to pull away. Needing to. It's too much. Too much ugliness is on display and he cannot stand it.]

You have all left me behind... But this is the one thing I do not wish to be alone for. Won't one of the people who once claimed such unyielding affection once upon a time not be there?

[And you, Dan Feng, who claims it now?]

But if you would accept the fate that Yingxing has decided for you... then I will not stop you. If only because I cannot.

[ people are ugly, sometimes. that is simply the way of it. dan feng knows this - knows well that he has been ugly more times than he can count. even his dearest jing yuan, the best of them all, is capable of ugliness, it does not disturb him.

what disturbs him is his lover's attempt to pull away, to try to isolate himself. they have mere hours remaining to them, he does not want to leave things this way after an achingly wonderful week together. dan feng breathes a soft, injured sound. if jing yuan will not look at him, will not come to him, then he will give chase, pressing his brow against his lover's shoulder. ]

You are a fool, for loving me..

[ he whispers, his hands slipping into jing yuan's soft hair. ]

For loving either of us. All we have done is bring you pain. Even now, I cannot make you happy.

[ perhaps he is foolish too, for giving his life up so easily, but he has no sense of worth, after all that he has done, all the terrible pain and suffering he has so selfishly wrought. both of his lovers would have been better off without him, would have been happier without him, and that is a simple fact. they deserved better, jing yuan and yingxing both, and dan feng's regret pulses painfully through their bond. in all of these hundreds of years alone, jing yuan could have found new lovers, ones far better than dan feng could ever hope to be. ]

I do not know how to begin to atone, while bringing you happiness. Both of you. [ for the guilt - it is eating him alive. jing yuan deserves everything. yingxing does, as well. ] But if this worthless life of mine will bring you comfort at the end.. then I will keep it.

[Even now, I cannot make you happy.

The dam for those tears crumbles to dust once more and they fall heavy from his golden eyes. Those words alone make it sound like Dan Feng will remain resolute in his path. That if Blade wills it, he will die. There's no resentment that thrums through their bond. Just unparalleled grief. A heart crying out that in the end it still remains like this. There's nothing more he can say or do if this is what Dan Feng wants.

Thankfully, it's eased by the words that follow, eventually. That he will be with him at the end... And there is relief that mingles with the sorrow. It eases the ache, the knife like pain that he felt through his center.]

Sometimes there is no atoning in this life. We make our choices and we must live with them. We are not owed forgiveness by those we've wronged. Nor will death make up for it either. Tomorrow comes and we make the best of it. Striving forward despite our mistakes.

A-Feng... [He tilts his head to rest his cheek against Dan Feng's soapy hair. Slowly, but surely, ceasing his hiding if only because he must speak and speak earnestly.] Your life, despite any and all transgressions, still holds value. It is precious to me and always has been. It is why I fought so hard to preserve it. It's why I am now the General of the Luofu for it was the only way to have the power to preserve any piece of you. I had to stop them from destroying you completely. And then I had to fight to free your reincarnation... Your worth to me could not be greater...

Even through my doubts... I have loved you with all that I am.

[ jing yuan's grief hits him hard, and dan feng's own radiates back. for all they chase happiness together, they are broken men, they carry pain and aching memories.. there can be no denying it. while many of their wounds have healed, they will always bear the scars. those spilling tears shred his soul, and dan feng lifts his head to kiss them away, his arms sliding around jing yuan and holding tightly. ]

You're too good of a man. Truly..

[ that he would still love dan feng, and sacrifice so much for him after all that he has done - that he would somehow find worth in this selfish, horrible creature.. he is far, far more than dan feng could ever hope to deserve, and there can be no convincing him that he is worth anything at all.

but for jing yuan's happiness, he will live on. if he can make a difference in this way.. then he will. it pains him to choose between his lovers, for one wants his life, and the other his death, and they are both deserving.. but he had given yingxing what he wanted in the past, perhaps it is jing yuan's turn, now. ]

Know that I love you. That I have always loved you. You were the best thing that happened to Yingxing and I.

[ and there can be no denying that, for the truth of it resonates through their bond. ]

You are my bright sun.

[He feels that grief. And he feels the love that comes after it. Followed by words of affirmation, Dan Feng trying to hammer it in before he leaves to not doubt their love. To never doubt it again. It's difficult to undo hundreds of years of abandonment in a week. Especially when they're about to part again. Especially after treading treacherous ground like this. Where there does have to be a choice about which lover to satisfy.

Blade's vengeance or his own longing.

He lets himself to become boneless in Dan Feng's arms, letting those soft lips kiss his tears away. Letting himself be soothed and eased and loved. Eventually he nuzzles into the Dan Feng's kisses, sloppily attempting to meet them with a kiss of his own.]

It's just cause I'm big and warm... [That's all he can say to the sun comment. It makes him feel too embarrassed to hear. He doesn't feel like he deserves such praise after such a display but he'll accept as much of it as he can.] And you always run cold.

[He offers Dan Feng's lips a few more light kisses before placing his hand on his lover's hips to ease him off.]

Let me finish cleaning you up before you get soap in your eyes.

.. yes, you are big and warm.

[ that much certainly can't be argued, and dan feng surely loves to curl up against his lover and absorb his heat as often as he can, but that is not what he means, and jing yuan knows it. he won't allow the man to run away from that, either, so while he does maneuver himself out of jing yuan's lap, he doesn't keep his silence. ]

But you are so much more than that.

[ and it surges through their bond - dan feng's love, yes, but also his complete admiration, how much he looks up to jing yuan, how he sees him. ]

You're the warmest, kindest man that I have ever known. Your strength is immeasurable. You shine on in spite of the awful things you have experienced.. please, ai de, please try to remember that.

[This is too much... Too much praise and none he feels worthy of after much of this conversation. Yet it's impossible to deny when their bond presses this feelings against him.

He can't keep the other's gaze, feeling his face warm which he will blame on the heat of the water.]

I will try... [He does concede softly, gaze still not quite able to meet his lover's. It's too much. Truly... None of those things feel true but he lets it go for now.] And... I'm sorry.

[He leans in presses a kiss to Dan Feng's lips.]

For being the brat Yingxing always claimed me to be...

[ trying is all he can ask for. after all, dan feng knows full well how hard it can be to break a habit, for this is not the first time that he has tried to throw his own life away. jing yuan pleads with him to see his own worth, but dan feng has a difficult time seeing it for himself. all that either of them can do is.. try. ]

I like you as a brat.

[ dan feng says with a soft smile, meeting that kiss with his own, both hands cupping jing yuan's jaw. it makes his heart ache, seeing his dearest love so sad, knowing that he thinks poorly of himself when he is surely the best man that dan feng has ever known.. but all he can do is continue to love him, with his entire heart, as much as he is able to. ]

Now, I'll behave.

[ and allow him to rinse him clean. ]

[He gives a small nod and continues taking care of Dan Feng. He washes the soap out of his hair and combs it out once again to make sure everything is untangled and clean. And once the hair is its elegant self once more he moves on to washing up the rest of him.

He runs a cloth along limbs and his chest. Cleaning up their activities and mess. He's so very gentle and careful as he descends lower, especially around the vent. He presses an apologetic kiss to Dan Feng's temple as he swipes along the sore opening. But he makes sure not to linger too long. Enough to make sure it's clean. He next tackles the tail, takes a rougher cloth and runs it along the scales, his hands moving from memory when they did this in their past. He doesn't have quite the right tools to manage scales but he can at least clean them up nice. It's probably been some time, considering where Dan Feng had been living, since they had any sort of proper care and attention. Even that tuft gets brushed out until it's looking perfect.

Every part of Dan Feng is treated with care and attention. Everything all washed up and made flawless once more. Their time draws short and so they probably shouldn't partake in anything more physical. Dan Feng could probably use the rest on those particular parts of him anyway after everything...

And his gaze drifts sadly to the beautiful eggs sitting together at the edge of the tub but only for a moment.]

I'll change the sheets but... would you indulge me in one last nap? When we wake I'll see to it that you're prepared for your journey.

[Just speaking of the end causes a wave of sorrow to pour out of him. Already mourning their parting.]

[ dan feng is quiet and accepting as jing yuan works, his strong hands so gentle as they soap up his skin, as they scrub his smooth soft scales to a beautiful iridescent shine. it feels good, to be clean, even better to be cleaned by the man that he loves, and were he a cat he would surely be purring beneath the attention.

he hadn't enjoyed this sort of thing, at first, when he and yingxing began to fall in love. he was naturally a cold and distant thing, touch had been anathema to him, and he hadn't enjoyed closeness the way he does now - but they pulled him open, slowly and gently peeling away the petals of the lotus until he shone in bloom for them beneath the moon. now, he can hardly get enough of it, most especially after his long imprisonment spent missing them terribly.

once jing yuan finishes, dan feng turns in his arms to face him, lifting a soapy washcloth to begin cleaning off his chest and abdomen as well, clearing away their mess before he reaches to open the drain. ]

I'm more than happy to. [ one last sleep together, wound up in one another's arms. grief at their upcoming separation pulses through the bond, but dan feng does what he can to push it back, to fill himself with warmth and love instead. carefully, he begins to stand. ] Let's go.

[They get out of the tub and he wraps a towel around Dan Feng before going off to change their sheets... Something that's been done an absurd amount of times since they started making love to one another. The bed has been well used, needless to say.

With fresh sheets, new blankets and a few added pillows for good measure he slides on a robe and then perches himself on the edge of the bed. His heart feeling heavier by the moment. And despite the love that Dan Feng is pouring to stop the stem of grief he can't help but mourn already.

Once Dan Feng enters the room he pulls him close, wrapping his arms around the slender waist. He doesn't utter words that won't make a difference. That he doesn't want to part or say goodbye or that he should come with.

Dan Feng has to go... He can't stay here in the Luofu considering who he is. He has to go find Blade and try. And... he, in turn, is bound to the Luofu. That was his price to pay for freeing Dan Heng and insuring he could even come into existence. He cannot just go. Obligation has shackled him here for a little longer.

But one day... hopefully they can be reunited. And he will hold onto that hope as tightly as he can.

Jing Yuan sniffs, pressing his cheek into Dan Feng's stomach.]

When you find Yingxing be sure to tell him I took both your cocks despite him always saying I couldn't.

[His own words make him smile, just a little, as he squeezes the other tightly. Humor helps ease the ache just a little. And he can already picture Yingxing's image, as he once was, rolling his eyes. Blade... Blade would probably just deadpan and be deeply unimpressed. Both images are quite amusing.]

[ while jing yuan sees to the sheets, dan feng dries himself off, rubbing the soft towel over his body and using it to wick the moisture from his hair, and all the rest he's able to pull out with his cloudhymn magic, leaving it sleek and shining and incredibly soft.

once dried, he looks to the eggs with a deep ache in his heart. there is no life in them, he can sense it - beautiful as they are, they will remain inert always, never bearing the life he is desperately eager for. carefully, gently, he gathers all five of them into the towel and carries them back into the room, setting them down on the nightstand before he's slipping into a soft silk robe himself, and stepping toward jing yuan.

.. who is more than happy to pull him in, holding him close, and when he says those words dan feng can't help but laugh. it's a quiet sound, for he is a muted man, but it is nevertheless quite genuine and warm. ]

I'll be sure to tell him. Then you can tell him yourself.

[ he says, then takes jing yuan's face into his hands, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his mouth, languid and slow, taking his time to feel every brush of their lips, to enjoy the warm texture. ]

[He smiles into the kiss, returning it with eyes fluttering closed and lips parting just a little. They shouldn't delve too deep or there will be another round, inevitably. He was a good partner for Yingxing for a reason. Just as insatiable and hungry for attention and affection.]

We could show him? [He offers when he has a chance, lips curling into a mischievous smile.] Or I could take both of you? Or... [His eyes gleam in a way that matches his smile. Clearly about to say something ridiculous.] All three~?

[Two was already more than he was going to be able to manage. He's not young or spry anymore and even then he's not sure if he could have done it as a young Cloud Knight. Not without a lot of rest and that wasn't going to be an option when Jingliu was not going to be sympathetic due to his over eager sexual appetites. But it's fun to tease and throw ideas out there just to watch the reaction.]

What do you say, A-Feng~?

[ no, they shouldn't delve too deep, but dan feng can't help but kiss him. he wants to kiss him a hundred times, a thousand, until the warmth of the memory of jing yuan's lips are seared into his mind, unforgettable. he wants to keep this warmth, and carry it with him to banish the cold darkness, for if he is honest.. he is afraid of what is coming. afraid to leave this warm, perfect place to head into the cold cosmos. afraid of what he will find in his beloved yingxing.

so he'll fill these last hours with happiness, with joy and with love. ]

Please. You could barely take two, you greedy boy.

[ he says, smiling as he smooths a hand back through jing yuan's fluffy hair, pushing it away from his lovely eyes. dan feng's tail snaps around, scales shimmering beautifully, and he coils its end around jing yuan's calf. ]

You'd not be able to walk for weeks.

I'm quite a determined individual, I'll have you know~ [He squeezes the other tight, looking especially cheeky.] And I'll be retired. I won't need to walk around... And if I need to go someplace I'll make Yingxing carry me~

[He laughs, full of mirth as he tugs Dan Feng with him onto the bed, allowing them to get curled up with each other. He loves being wrapped up in his tail. Having it keep him pressed close when sleep sometimes causes him to roll away from the warmth of his lover.

As they nestle together his eyes catch sight of the eggs and his heart fills with regret.]

What... What should I do with your eggs, A-Feng? [There is no life but he also cannot bear the thought of throwing them away.] Should I... Will they keep? I can put them on little stands by some of your old things. They're beautiful even if they don't hold life. They're part of you... And in a small way we made them together.

[ they tumble into bed together, warm and happy and laughing, and dan feng presses in close, tugging the blankets over them both, his tail still snaked around jing yuan to keep him near. ]

Oh yes, I'm sure he will be amenable to that..

[ smiling warmly, he rests his head on the pillow, looking into jing yuan's eyes, smoothing fingers through his soft, fluffy hair. ]

As for the eggs.. [ his gaze drifts to where they sit, cradled in the towel, beautiful and pearlescent. ] Dragon eggs are not like other eggs, they need specific conditions to quicken.

[ his eyes move back to jing yuan. ]

In my case, they would need water and warmth. Without those things - were they fertile - they would remain dormant. If they stay dry, they should keep.

[He nods at this, tucking his head under Dan Feng's chin.]

Then I will keep them and I will cherish them even if they are empty. [His heart is sentimental like that. There's no life in those eggs but he will mourn them as if there were. The chance to be a proper father has come and gone... Those eggs were not going to change that. It is what it is.

For now... He rests. Pressing his lips to Dan Feng's throat, nuzzling in a little further to suckle on the bite he left just earlier. His teeth find the previous indents but he doesn't bite again. He simply savors the connection, relishing in all of this before they part ways. Every blissful and comfortable sensation and all the love they have for one another suffocating all the sad sensations for the time being.

Only happiness here. And love. Joy. Affection.]

[ jing yuan tucks in close, and dan feng holds him, his arms coiled around him, tail still firm around him as well, as if he would smother his lover in his very existence. one hand slips into thick white hair, while the other slides down jing yuan's back, moving in slow, soothing circles as he pushes his love through their bond, his devotion, his promise to live. ]

Sleep well, qin ai de. I love you.

[ jing yuan can feel it through their bond, perhaps, but it always bears saying it aloud. he had said it so rarely, when they were young.. he will not make that mistake again. he will say it often, and with honesty.

at last, dan feng closes his eyes and begins to hum a soft lullaby, to draw them both to sleep. ]

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